What If Self-Care Looked Like Less?

“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” We’ve all heard it. But most of us interpret it as: Refill as fast as you can so you can get back to pouring.

We’re still centering productivity, even in our rest.

The truth is, many people (especially caretakers, helpers, high achievers) have internalized the idea that worth is tied to usefulness. So even something like lunch becomes a task—another item to optimize or multitask through.

But what if self-care wasn’t about doing more for yourself… but about doing less?

Here are three underrated forms of self-care I often talk about with clients:

1. Eating lunch as the only thing you’re doing.
   This tiny shift—just 10 quiet minutes—can help regulate your nervous system and give your mind a much-needed pause.

2. Saying no without the TED Talk.
   People-pleasing isn’t the same as kindness. Explaining ourselves over and over again is often a sign that we’re trying to manage someone else’s feelings—while ignoring our own.

3. Taking two full minutes between meetings.
   You don’t have to go straight from one obligation to the next. Even two minutes of breathing, stretching, or stepping outside can change your entire tone for the rest of the day.

You’ve probably heard all of this before.
“Take a break.” “Just breathe.” “Slow down.”

And yet—it still feels impossible to imagine how those tiny moments could actually matter.

Especially when the to-do list is long, the inbox is full, and it feels like you’re barely keeping up.

But here’s what most people don’t realize:

That anxious spiral at 4pm?
That moment of irritability or shutdown in the evening?
That nagging sense of “I’m behind”—even when you’ve done a lot?

It’s often the ripple effect of a nervous system that’s been in go-mode all day with no pause.

These micromoments—eating without multitasking, saying no, taking two full minutes to breathe—aren’t fluff. They’re nervous system interventions.

So even if you don’t think you need it, schedule the pause anyway.
Build it in like a meeting. Set a reminder. Anchor it to your lunch or your commute.

Let that moment be a reset, a regulation, a reminder:
You are not a machine. You deserve space in your own day.

And over time? Those small choices become the foundation for a more grounded, peaceful life.