If you’re a high-achieving woman with anxiety, chances are you’re excellent at showing up for other people.

You remember birthdays. You anticipate needs. You keep things running smoothly at work, at home, and in your relationships.

You’re organized, dependable, and often the emotional barometer of the room.

But when it comes to spending time alone (not scrolling, not catching up on tasks, not doing something useful) you feel oddly stuck.

Not because you don’t want rest. But because your nervous system isn’t used to prioritizing you.

Whether it’s personal development or professional success, most of us have internalized the idea that change should be fast. That there should be a clear turning point. A breakthrough moment. Something big and shiny that says:
“You’ve made it.”

But that’s not how healing — especially the kind that happens in your nervous system — actually works.

The reality is quieter. Slower. Often invisible.
It looks like:

• Saying “no” and not spiraling about it later

• Taking a breath before jumping in to fix or help

• Not overexplaining yourself in every email or text

• Feeling your shoulders relax without even noticing they were tense

These are the small shifts that signal real progress. But they don’t usually come with fanfare.